Sonic Raingasm
by One Terrible Writer
Summary: If Rainbow Dash orgasms in Ponyville, then a Sonic Raingasm will destroy the entire town! Gilda is back and is determined that this will happen - can Dash escape or is Ponyville doomed? Also what DOES Fluttershy do with those juice boxes?...


**Story Notes:**

 _This is a spoof story and should be read as such. You have been warned!_

"Come on Fluttershy, you can do it!"

"I can't! I can't! Hnnn!" Fluttershy scrunched up her little face in absolute concentration as Pinkie pushed the juice box straw deeper into her nether regions. The straw jutted out from between her legs and into a full apple juice box. "This is crazy!"

"I believe in you Fluttershy!" Pinkie whispered, squeezing Fluttershy's hoof. "Use those muscles, suck it all up!"

"I'll try, but I don't think it works like that!" Fluttershy cried out, and the with a final squeak there was a slurping noise, and the juice box crumpled as it was sucked dry.

"You did it!" Pinkie Pie leapt onto Fluttershy and enveloped her in an enormous hug.

Fluttershy just patted her stomach with shock. "Am am I juice-pregnant now?" she gasped, feeling the cool juice sloshing about inside her.

The theatre audience burst into rapturous applause as Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie took their bow. All apart from Rainbow Dash who had started to sweat as she slipped out the back. She hadn't expected the Ponyville talent show to take such a hot turn.

"Oh Fluttershy!" Rainbow moaned to herself as she scuttered along the dark streets of Ponyville, feeling a burning longing between her legs. "Why must you love Pinkie and not me!" It had been hell seeing Fluttershy on stage with that pink strumpet, Dash had sat at the back squirming and writhing with barely unrestrained need. Fluttershy's ping pong ball trick was bad enough, but once she had started planting those carrots

Rainbow Dash shook her head to clear the fog. It was too late, she had her chance. If only she had realized that Fluttershy had wanted Dash to pick HER as her flying pet! Once she had chosen a tortoise instead, a tearful Fluttershy had fallen straight into the hooves of Pinkie Pie, and from those sugary clutches there was no escape.

Dash didn't even like tortoises in that way!

Thoughts of Fluttershy whirling about her head, Rainbow Dash ducked behind a building and started to rub between her legs, letting out a long moan. Suddenly a panicked look crossed her face. "No, not here!" she whimpered, leaping into the sky, a rainbow streak heading towards the clouds far above Ponyville.

Finding a sexy nimbus cumulus, Dash planted herself firmly down and got to work on herself. Soon she was a nervous, twitching wreck, squirming and writhing in the cotton clouds, until with a final cry, she came hard.

The sky exploded in a dazzling rainbow array, the blast devastating the surrounding clouds in a maelstrom of multi-coloured destruction, leaving only Dash at its centre, panting and untouched and alone.

Alone that it, apart from a pair of beady avian eyes that glinted in the darkness, hungrily watching the exhausted Dash.

"So " Gilda muttered to herself. "The Sonic Raingasm is real "

* * *

"Good morning Mrs Cake! Good morning Bon-Bon! Good morning Strum McAwesomeposture!" Rainbow Dash trotted through Ponyville happily the next day, basking in the sun and generally being cheerful, the frustrations of the previous night forgotten. It was another day, full of opportunities and friends and fun and

"Hurk!" A claw lunged out from a dark alleyway and grabbed Rainbow Dash by the neck, snatching the pegasus pony into the narrow, private space. A panicked Dash was face to face with

"Gilda!" Dash squeaked as she looked up into the face of her once best friend, a smug looking griffin who was even the more impressive as her feathers ruffled in her face.

"It's been a while Dash" Gilda smiled, leaning in close, her beak tickling Dash's ear. "I've missed you. I mean really missed you "

Rainbow Dash tried to scoot out of the alley, but was blocked by the larger griffin, biting her lip hard as Gilda pressed herself to Dash, talons stroking her wings as she cooed. The frustrations of the previous night suddenly hit Rainbow Dash like a freight train, and she crumbled under Gilda's spell.

"Oh Gilda!" Dash cried. "I never realized you thought that way about me, I always thought " She trailed off. "Let's go back to my place in the clouds and we can "

"No!" Gilda snarled, placing a claw on Rainbow's rump, the pony's face turning a furious red from blushing. "Let's make love here Dash. Here and now. Or nothing!"

Rainbow Dash whined out in agony, her body shuddering at every touch, years of longing welling up. "I can't!" She whispered hoarsely. "Please Gilda I've never told anyone this before, but if I orgasm I create a Sonic Raingasm which could destroy Ponyville!"

"I know!" Gilda hissed, leaning in even closer, pressing her feathery chest to Dash. "That's just what I want Dash! Give yourself to me, our love will destroy this miserable town!"

"No!" Dash cried out in betrayal. "You just want me for my orgasm powers!"

"Well duh!" Gilda rolled her eyes. "It's hardly for your sparkling personality Dash. I never believed in the Sonic Raingasm, but when I saw its power last night and to think I thought you never got laid at Flight Academy because you hated cocks so much."

This was actually partly true as well. In her youth Rainbow Dash had been rabidly chicken-racist, attending rallies with placards that read 'Celestia Hates Roosters' and 'Fowls are Foul' and picketing free range farms. That was part of the reason she had formed such a quick bond with Fluttershy Fluttershy kept her chickens locked up in a cage, they knew their place. While today Rainbow Dash would not describe herself as biased towards chickens, she still wouldn't give up her seat on the bus for one. It hadn't made her popular at Flight Academy though, she had been shunned by nearly all the creatures there apart from Gilda. She had never known the touch of another. Ever.

Which was lucky really, because of the whole explosive rainbow orgasm deal.

"No Gilda, it's wrong, I can't destroy Ponyville just to get my end away!" Rainbow Dash panted, edging out of the alleyway. "Okay, I mean, I CAN, but I think that it might be morally wrong, you know " A Gilda edged towards Rainbow Dash, intent on deflowering her, Dash looked around for any hope of escape, before pointing behind Gilda. "By Celestia's Beard, is that a giant space muffin?"

Gilda smirked. "You won't get me with such an obvious trick Dash, now come to Gilda. Or should that be cu-"

Gilda did not get to finish her sentence as a giant space muffin impacted on her skull. On closer inspection, it was not a giant space muffin, but in face just a normal giant muffin, held aloft by a familiar grey pegasus.

"Run Dash!" Derpy shouted as she threw the concrete-lined muffin away and raced with Dash to the safety of the street outside.

Blinking into the sunlight, Rainbow Dash wiped a brow and Derpy smiled sheepishly back. "I overheard what Gilda was saying and I couldn't let her blow up Ponyville using your orgasm Dash. Luckily I was carrying that gigantic impractical concrete muffin, or we'd all be doomed! Now we can "

Rainbow Dash just shook her head and ruffled Derpy's mane. "Thanks for the help Derpy, but it's up to me now! I need to team up with my friends and beat Gilda before she uh beats me." With that, Rainbow Dash trotted off, a determined look fixed on her face.

Derpy's eyes began to water as she sat heavily on her haunches, staring after Rainbow Dash. "But I'm your friend too" she whispered sadly.

* * *

Rainbow Dash raced along the streets of Ponyville, feeling the burning rising between her legs again. Gilda had turned her on, there was no doubt about that. After so many years of being alone, even the thought of that griffin was powerfully alluring, dangerously so. But would she destroy Ponyville just for the chance for some actual bodily contact? The truth was, Rainbow Dash wasn't sure. Her only hope was that one of her friends would take pity on her and show her a good time so she could push Gilda out of her mind once and for all.

Unfortunately the first ponies Dash bumped into were Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie. Rainbow Dash screeched to a shuddering stop in front of the two, her heart sinking into despair as she saw Fluttershy. The meek yellow pegasus who haunted her dreams was standing there, her stomach swollen fit to burst with a proud Pinkie Pie patting it.

"Oh, um, hi Dash!" Fluttershy squeaked. "I guess I got juice pregnant after all!" She giggled slightly. Rainbow Dash felt resentment rise in her loins, her heart pounding in her ears. Perhaps she should be with Gilda, perhaps –

"It's amazing what an apple juice box can do!" Pinkie Pie cooed happily, interrupting Dash's thoughts. "In just a night too! Oh Fluttershy, we'll be so happy together!"

"Oooh!" Fluttershy suddenly fell to the ground, writhing in agony. "It's coming Pinkie Pie, it's coming!"

As Pinkie knelt down to help Fluttershy, shouting encouraging words of 'push, push!' Rainbow Dash looked on confused, not sure whether to help or just run away and pretend none of this had happened.

Finally with a loud pop, an object flew out of Fluttershy and rolled across the grass towards Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash stared down at it.

It was an orange.

"WHAT?" Pinkie screamed out as Fluttershy covered her eyes with shame. "You've been sleeping with other juice boxes behind my back! You juice harlot!"

Rainbow Dash decided to leave them to it. She left the orange too.

* * *

Seeing the fruit had given Rainbow Dash an idea. Applejack! Applejack's farm was far away from Ponyville, Rainbow Dash could make out with her and the resulting Sonic Raingasm would only devastate her orchards, Ponyville would be safe! It was an excellent plan with no drawbacks.

As she trotted towards Sweet Apple Acres, Rainbow Dash practised her plan to herself. "Uh hi Applejack…" she muttered, thinking of the best words to use to trick Applejack into sex. "So it turns out I'm actually your cousin, so I guess I have to…"

Reaching the nearest barn, she heard the trotting of hooves, and carefully peeked inside. Her heart leapt – there was Applejack by some buckets of apples! Such a coincidence meant that Celestia must be smiling on her (though Rainbow Dash hoped she wasn't watching too). As she plucked up the courage to step forwards and announce her fake familial bond, she froze in shock.

Applejack, having sneakily looked around to ensure nopony was watching, had taken an apple and pushed into her crotch!

Rainbow Dash's jaw went slack. She had always thought there was something strange about Applejack's love of apples, but not that it had gone this far! But nothing could prepare her for what happened next.

There was a frantic crunching noise, and from between Applejack's legs was spat an apple core. Applejack lay back and smiled. "Mmmm, delicious!"

Rainbow Dash ran like the devil himself was after her.

* * *

"Rarity, Rarity, no time to explain, I need you to run away with me and make love so I don't destroy Ponyville with my orgasm!" Rainbow Dash burst into Rarity's shop at high speed, searching for the white unicorn. Rarity was the next obvious choice – Rainbow Dash had always imagined Rarity had a huge libido, the amount she hung around with various unruly types like fashion designers and Diamond Dogs and Spikes, so getting her to make out should be easy.

Her target in sight, Rainbow Dash leapt towards Rarity, lifting the shocked unicorn's tail to find the delicious…

"…Nothing?" Rainbow Dash gaped in shock. Under Rarity's tail was no delicious candy vag, not even an asshole. It was just smooth white marshmallow.

Rarity turned around in annoyance, tossing her head at Rainbow Dash. "Well of course Rainbow dear, you don't think I'd have anything as unseemly as THAT. Ick! None of my family do, we're much too high class to be dealing with such vulgar things!"

"What but what I…" Rainbow Dash spluttered in confusion. She shook her head. "That can't be true! Sweetie Belle's your sister and SHE has an ass! She craps all over town, it's horrible!"

Rarity sighed at Rainbow Dash as one might at a petulant foal. "Oh, Sweetie Belle isn't my real sister, I just bought her off a family of zebras for a few beads. I paint her stripes every night so she doesn't find out the truth."

"Wha…" A little curly purple mane popped confusedly out of a nearby box.

Rarity slammed the lid down and locked it. "Not now Sweetie Belle, this is box time! You love your box you do you do!" she cooed, and then turned back to Rainbow Dash. "So what was this attempt at speed molestation all about?"

"Well…" Rainbow Dash looked bashful, kicking her legs back. "Gilda's about and she wants to make me orgasm, but only in Ponyville! But if I orgasm it will make a Sonic Raingasm and destroy Ponyville! So I need to find somepony else to run away with and get off with so I can orgasm safely!"

"Why don't you just do it manually?" Rarity waved her hooves in Dash's face. "I'm sure you know how to do that, right?"

Dash blushed again. "The thing is Rarity… I… I'm a virgin! I've never been with anyone else! Getting off on my own just isn't enough, my mind will keep coming back to Gilda and her warm feathery embrace… I need another pony to push her out of my mind!"

"You're in luck!" Rarity grinned. "I may not have any of your lewd equipment, but I can still reproduce! Get ready for the time of your life Dash!" With that, what seemed like a cloud of smoke erupted from Rarity's back and little dandelion-like spores puffed out, floating across to Dash in the breeze. "Fertilise me Dash, fertilise me!" Rarity cried as she continued to spore.

"I… I'll be right back!" Rainbow Dash squeaked in terror as she leapt outside and slammed the front door. Then for good measure she nailed the door shut and breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay. That didn't happen. That DIDN'T happen."

* * *

Twilight Sparkle winced as she slowly inserted the pencil into herself, deeper and deeper until only the tip was pointing out. Then carefully she squatted over a sheet of paper and started to move her body. "Dear Princess Celestia…" she began.

Spike walked in, whirled around in one step and walked out again.

"Hey Twilight, what's wrong with Spike, he looks all…" Rainbow Dash trailed off as she entered the library, taking in the scene before her.

"Oh hi Rainbow, just writing a letter to the Princess!" Twilight chirped happily as she moved her body over the paper. "Ooooh yes, I can't wait till she reads this!"

"That's…" Rainbow Dash looked for the right words, but then decided that there were none and gave up. "Seriously Twilight, Celestia's way too old for you, she's like, thousands of years old. That's older than Granny Smith, and you wouldn't…"

Twilight flushed bright red. Rainbow Dash felt something awful welling up inside her.

"You know what Twilight?" Rainbow Dash threw her hooves up. "I was totally going to let you get some and save Ponyville from a Sonic Raingasm, but seriously, no! No! Argh!" She turned and stormed out of the library, feeling the heat between her legs well up again.

This was it. Her friends had abandoned her. Her need was growing, and there was only one who could satisfy it. Gilda had won. Ponyville would be destroyed.

* * *

"I knew you'd come back" Gilda smirked, leaning against the wall of the alley. "I know you too well Dash, you're weak! A weak little pony who wants a fowl time." She leaned close to Dash, hissing in her ear. "Griffins are related to chickens you know, does that make you feel dirty?"

Rainbow Dash simply trembled in front of Gilda. "I've been trying to resist you, but it's just too much Gilda. You're all I dream of. Take me! We'll blow up Ponyville together!"

The two locked together in a passionate embrace in that dark alley, kissing and writhing. Gilda shuddered as Rainbow Dash kissed down her wings, and she returned the favour before lapping at Rainbow Dash. "Oh Dash, I know this is going to be a big one!"

Gilda held Dash down and started to straddle her, as the two ground against each other. "I'm gonna lay you Dash, lay you like a griffin!" Her hips rocked harder, pushing her opening against Dash's. "It's coming Dash, can you feel it? I'm going to lay my egg in you! You can't resist it!"

Gilda slowly pushed out an egg, the motion pushing it into the blue pegasus which lay panting before her. She knew that Dash wouldn't last long, that soon the Sonic Raingasm would well and annihilate Ponyville. As the egg made its way into Dash, Gilda smiled. This was going to be one explosive finale.

"Actually " Rainbow Dash leant a hoof down and with one motion, plucked the egg from inside her and crushed it. "I'm good for eggs Gilda. But you know what you can make with eggs "

Gilda gasped out as with a burst of energy, Dash pushed Gilda down and straddled her in return, pinning the griffin down, rocking hard against her. To her horror, Gilda felt something emerge from Dash's slit, pushing into her own as she struggled, slowly being filled up with what?

Looking down, Gilda gasped in astonishment at the bready substance Dash was pushing out of her love tunnel and into Gilda. "I-it can't be!" Gilda whined as the pegasus continued to pin her down. "Y-you're not Dash!"

"No I'm not!" 'Rainbow Dash' pulled off her fake rainbow mane to reveal the face of Derpy glaring back at her. Shaking off the blue powder dye to unveil her grey coat, Derpy used one hoof to hold the panting Gilda down, and the other to push the muffin (for that is what it was) deeper into Gilda's insides.

"I'm gonna push this muffin so far into your ovaries that you'll be laying muffins for the rest of your life!" Derpy hissed, her face close to Gilda's. "And if I ever see you near Dash again, that'll be the least of your worries!"

Derpy's hoof went deep into Gilda. Gilda's eyes derped.

Derpy stood from the fallen Gilda and brushed her hooves off. "A job well done!" she begun to herself, before freezing in horror.

Before her, at the far end of the alleyway was Rainbow Dash, her hooves between her legs, panting and red.

"I I'm sorry!" Rainbow Dash squeaked out in shame. "I I saw what was happening and I couldn't help myself and now " She gave a gasp. "Now it's too late! I have nopony to love me!"

Derpy ran up to Rainbow Dash, holding the panting pegasus in her hooves. "There's still time! I'd do anything for you, you know that!"

Rainbow Dash just lay back weakly, her helpless gasps getting more frequent. "I saw, you even took that egg that was meant for me. I'm sorry Derpy, I just wasn't strong enough! I never realized how much you cared, and now all of Ponyville will pay the price "

Derpy embraced Rainbow Dash and locked the shuddering pegasus in a passionate kiss. "It's never too late Rainbow Dash. Come on, I've got a job to do. And I'm going to do it properly!" With that, Derpy gripped Rainbow Dash and leapt into the air, a blindingly fast streak arcing into the atmosphere.

For the second time that week, the skies above Ponyville were witness to another blinding rainbow display.

But somehow, this one felt happier.


End file.
